Not so many years ago, I was taking 27 pills a day to curb my Parkinson’s symptoms. That number didn’t include the supplements that I was advised to take along with my medication. You take some of the pills to mask the symptoms and you take the others to combat the symptoms caused by the pills that are aiding in making life a bit ‘easier’. That is some 700+ pills a month. Over 700 pills to help you stop shaking so much, to keep your mood somewhat elevated, to ease the physical pain that no one else knows is there, for aiding in the reduction of rigidity in your muscles, and more. This is what PD (Parkinson’s disease) can look like.
My symptoms, when going through my medical history with my Movement Disorder Specialist (EVERY PD patient needs one of these, if at all possible) over the years, he discovered that my journey with PD began way back in high school. Yes, that time of playing in the band at Friday night football games and Thursday night basketball games and wondering why I felt like I was trembling inside while sitting on the bleachers or marching on the field or studying for exams or whenever they (the tremors) felt like making themselves known.
Up to 44% of those with PD have experienced internal tremors. This is also what YOPD can look like. In my early 20’s the tremors continued and I started having gut troubles. I didn’t think much of it, but looking back on my medical history my doctor felt confident tthat PD was playing a quiet role way back when.
Fiona MacDonald of Science Alert says, “Researchers have noticed that people with Parkinson’s often report…digestive problems, up to 10 years before they notice tremors. There’s also evidence that people with Parkinson’s disease have different gut bacteria to other healthy adults.” This is also what PD can look like – but you can’t see it.
I began reading through my journals (kept from way back when) and began to see my symptoms actually did begin in high school. But they were subtle. They were unpronounced, minimal, silent, unassuming. There was some rigidity. Internal tremors. Gut problems. Not much but enough to put a connection to. This is what Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease can feel like.
When I was 32, I was misdiagnosed with Lupus and medicated with pills that didn’t make a difference. This is not uncommon.
I visited my regular doctor for twitching in my fingers and shaking in my hands, the right one most predominantly. I was 44 by then. I knew something was wrong. She sent me to a neurologist. I didn’t like his diagnosis nor his bedside manner so I found a Movement Disorder Specialist (MDS). His diagnosis was the same but his bedside manner much better than the neurologist, so I stayed with him.
For the sake of pity, I often don’t let people know how I’m really feeling. People treat you different when they know you have a disease. I don’t necessarily want to be treated different. My heart is still beating. I am living. I have too many weeds yet to pull, too many roses still to prune. I have grandchildren to watch grow and (hopefully!) more to be held. I have things to paint, to fix, and to make. I have birthday cakes to bake, popsicles to slurp, and summer days made for catching ladybugs. I don’t have time to wallow in a sea of sorrow over a disease I have but would rather not. But – since I do – I recognize that there are times (and they are increasing in number) when it’s okay to be treated different and need help. Really okay, because…
that’s what PD can look like.