I am one of those people who could easily, depending on the size (of course), wear the shirt that says, “I’m correcting your grammar in my head as you speak.” For as often and as many mistakes as I make in typing, whether it be grammatical or in the area of spelling or punctuation, it still bothers me to see spelling errors in something typed professionally that I know was edited by someone. Or punctuation done improperly. Or ill-grammar usage. Even though it is a pet peeve of mine, I make just as many blunders and they slip by unnoticed. I don’t get frustrated with the writer (myself excluded), just over the mistakes. Maybe it’s part of having OCD (obsessive compulsive days).

Unfortunately, it happens now, more than ever. Take today for example…
I filled out a form today that asked my name, my email, and to check a little box. That’s it. So, I filled out my name, my email, and left the little box unchecked.
37 seconds.
37 seconds is what it took to fill out my name, my email, and the ignore that little box.
I used to type at 72 wpm. When I first started having tremors it began to decrease to 65, then 60, and who knows what it is now – probably 10-ish or even less. And it frustrates me because one of the greatest joys in my life is writing.
Writing articles, children’s stories, devotions, inspirational stories, and so much more. But it can be sooooo frustrating because the going can be sooooo slow and full of errors and mistakes and going back and fixing and fixing and fixing. Whatever the reason, I keep doing it because I love it and believe that for some reason that I don’t understand, God wants me to keep doing it. Perhaps it’s because often it is therapy for when I am weary. Perhaps it’s encouragement for others. Perhaps it’s something else.
I don’t struggle with tremors as much after having surgery for DBS (Deep Brain Stimulation), but I do struggle with making my fingers work the way I want them to. They seem to have a mind of their own. Yes, I want to throw the computer out the window sometimes. Writing by hand isn’t an option. No one would be able to read it by the second line.
But… I keep on. I have to keep on. I don’t have an option. Writing is a lifeline. It is a joy. It is a gift God gave to me and since He hasn’t asked for it back, I will keep using it as long as I have breath. Until then, anyone know of a really good program for those who are ‘writing-impaired’? I’m trying to better my typing speed.

Little Monster Strikes Again

Morning Glory Buds Photo by Sherri Woodbridge
Morning Glory Buds
Photo by Sherri Woodbridge

Serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine are all chemicals that are involved in regulating mood, energy, motivation, appetite and sleep.  In addition, the frontal lobe of the brain, which is important in controlling mood, is known to be under-active in people with Parkinson’s disease.  It’s no wonder that Parkinson’s patients may look sad.  We have every right – our brain is messed up. But looking sad and feeling sad are two different things.

PD recipients have three strikes against them in the “mood-control” department, the first mentioned in the above paragraph.  The second is – sometimes we can wear what is referred to as a ‘masked face’.  This is not an optional ‘mask’ they wear, as if going to a masquerade ball, nor is it necessarily due to the possibility of depression being present.  No, having a masked face is just one of the gifts that Little Monster (aka PD) gives to us.  Because of the disease, the PD patient has no control over the facial muscles that have decided to give in and not hold our smiles anymore.  So naturally, because the majority of the public hasn’t a clue what’s going on behind our faces (and some PD’ers I’ve met), our lack of expression can often be (and believe me, it is) misconstrued as a sign that we are sad or depressed. How that assumption saddens and depresses me, because that assumption is not true.

Beach Bikes Photo by  Sherri Woodbridge
Beach Bikes
Photo by Sherri Woodbridge

We all have another part of our brain called the frontal lobe.  It is a very important place in the brain that helps to control moods.  The problem here is that for PD patients, it is known to be under-active, which accounts for the third strike against control over our moods.

I have been asked several times, “Why are you so sad?” or, “Are you depressed?” or, “What’s wrong?”  I’m not sad.  I’m not depressed.  In addition, nothing was wrong until I was asked all those questions and then began wondering that maybe something actually was wrong.  Maybe there was something I’m supposed to be sad or depressed over and I just haven’t found out about it yet.  A surefire way to get someone feeling low (at least, for me) is to tell him or her how ‘low’ he or she looks.  Works every time.  It’s called the power of suggestion. Especially if it happens repeatedly.

Mr. Happy Photo by Sherri Woodbridge
Mr. Happy
Photo by Sherri Woodbridge

I was sitting with a friend the other day, listening to her tell me about things in her life.  As far as I knew, nothing had changed in my appearance.  She then asked, unexpectedly and interrupting herself, “Are you okay?  You look like you’re going to cry.”

I was fine.  However, then I questioned myself.  Was I fine?  Why do I look so sad to her?  Do I feel sad?  Am I going to cry?  Should I cry?  Is there something to cry about that I missed? Maybe I should cry. How long should I cry? Alas, after a thorough examination of my brain, I concluded that yes, I was fine and I wasn’t going to cry.  I didn’t feel sad, but for reasons beyond my control, I looked sad.  I chalked that up to Little Monster stealing my smile.

We can try and look on the lighter side of this issue, but for some PD’ers (and others), depression is not only very real but it is a real battle and there isn’t a lighter side for them.

Dr. Santiago, Boo's Black Doggy, and me after first programming of DBS stimulator.
Dr. Santiago, Boo’s Black Doggy, and me after first programming of DBS stimulator.

Dr. Anthony Santiago, the world’s greatest Movement Disorder Specialist (at least in Minnesota),  once told me that in some PD cases, depression is the patient’s first symptom (surprise!) of having this disease.  Through the course of living with PD, it can continue to be a symptom for the reasons stated above,  in regards to the chemical make up of our brain.  An additional reason as to why a PD patient may experience depression is that the patient is day in day out staring an ugly, chronic illness in the face.  That in itself is enough to cause depression for many.

So, what to do?

Make sure you are being optimally treated for PD.  If you’re not receiving the correct medications regarding sleepless nights, if you’re struggling with constipation, experiencing fatigue, freezing episodes and more, these can contribute to depression and need to be addressed.  That is why you need to discuss anything (that you think may be irrelevant to you or not) with your physician to get the best care.  What we think is not  associated with PD, may very likely be.

It goes without saying that regular exercise is an important part of being at your best, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.  I find that if I’m striving for better health and begin to or increase my exercise, I tend to make better choices when it comes to food.  I look at it like – I just walked a while and I’m not eating that yummy cold Chocolate Chip Mint ice cream and cancel out what I just accomplished. (I’ll save it and eat it the next day.  Hopefully by then, someone else will have found it and I won’t half to be tempted, but hopefully not.)

It’s a proven fact that if we get up and get going we’ll feel better mentally.  Depression means just how it sounds.  It depresses the individual within whom it dwells.  It saddens them, makes them feel discouraged and disheartened.  While this is happening, the individual often focuses on wanting to feel better, to feel something.  More often than not, the individual struggling with depression focuses on himself and how bad he may feel. It is an emotional battlefield.

Chip Ingram , former Walk Thru the Bible president, once told a story of a doctor he knew who was treating a patient for depression and that nothing he seemed to be doing was working.  The doctor finally told his depressed patient to go to a certain room in the local hospital and read to the cancer patient in there each afternoon.  Within a week, his depressed patient’s spirit, emotional well being and mental outlook had improved dramatically.  By taking his eyes off himself and putting them on another and getting involved helping other, the once depressed patient realized there were others worse off than himself.

Sunshine on a Stick Photo by Sherri Woodbridge
Sunshine on a Stick
Photo by Sherri Woodbridge

There are many cases of depression that don’t fit neatly or easily into that theory of treatment, some due to chemical imbalances or injuries that are difficult to treat, even with the medications that are available.  Sometimes there are just no easy answers for treating depression and since each case is individual and unique, so are the treatments.

If you feel you tend to get depressed at times, or are feeling sad, think about joining a support group, if you haven’t already done so.  Start a hobby.  Get involved in a recreational or social activity.  Dance is becoming more popular and well known for its benefits to PD patients, (in terms of exercise) and is a great way to meet new people.  I’ve never met a depressed person who was dancing (or singing).

Many effective and safe medications have been used to treat depression in people with PD.  If you haven’t already, discuss your concerns with your doctor and ask if another treatment might suit you better.

Be Content
Be Content

Remember, as a PD patient, caregiver, or friend, progress is being made every day towards finding a cure.  Until then, get the best treatment you can, tailored to you.  Your doctor can only treat you as well as you amount that you are willing to confide in him with what you are experiencing.

Journeying with you – sherri

10 Signs You MIGHT Have Parkinson’s Disease

imageYou look like you have PD. You act like you have PD. You talk like you have PD. You feel like you have PD. You sound like you have PD. You smell like you have PD (It’s true!).

Point: All of the above may seem true, but it won’t necessarily mean you have Parkinson’s disease. Because this disease can mimic so many other neurological diseases, including Lyme disease, Multiple Sclerosis, and Lupus (to name just a few), it is extremely important to get an accurate diagnosis, and that could take years and several opinions of highly qualified doctors.

However, there are markers that are quite prevalent to Parkinson’s disease that should send you seeking a definitive diagnosis, no matter how long it takes.

Here are ten signs that you might have Parkinson’s disease, which exclude the biggie – tremors (because everyone usually associates that one with PD automatically).

  1. Loss of smell.  You notice flowers no longer have a fragrance. Ben-Gay doesn’t knock you out. You can’t smell dinner. If your nose isn’t constantly plugged up, it could be a sign of Parkinson’s disease.
  2. Loss of facial expression.  imagePeople ask why you look so sad. People ask why you look so unhappy. Although Parkinson’s disease can alter our moods and cause mild to severe depression, what they are seeing is the affects that PD has on facial muscles. Doesn’t that make you oh, so happy?
  3. Gait.  You trip often. Perhaps even fall. You notice one of your feet won’t keep up with the other and drags somewhat. You may have a shuffling effect like that of a penguin when you walk. No, you are not part bird. You might have PD.
  4. Soft voice.  People tell you to speak up. People are always saying “What?” when you speak, as if they aren’t even listening. They tell you to not speak so softly. You may not be able to help it if it’s Parkinson’s.
  5. Dystonia.  Do your toes tend to curl under in pain? Your muscles seize up and hurt like the dickens? You might be able to blame the disease.
  6. Handwriting.  Did you once get praised for your handwriting? How lovely, legible and readable it was and now it’s barely more than scribble? Could be…
  7. Stiffness/Rigidity.  Is your neck often stiff? An ache in the shoulders/neck area/back? Hmmm…
  8. Balance.  Some people have actually been stopped by authorities who have thought they are dealing with someone who is intoxicated because of the way they are walking. Nope. Just Parkinson’s, but it might make you want to drink.
  9. Non-Swinging Arm.  Someone asks you why only one of your arms swings while you walk. MICHAEL J FOXSomeone asked Michael J. Fox that same question while he was jogging. His wife. That sent him to the doctor, which for him, was the beginning of a new journey…
  10. Doctor’s opinion.  
    Dr. Santiago, Boo's Black Doggy, and me after  first programming of DBS stimulator.
    Dr. Santiago (a great MDS), Boo’s Black Doggy, and me after my first programming of DBS stimulator. Muhammad Ali Parkinson’s Center, Pheonix, Arizona.
    What?!? Yes, a doctor’s opinion may be a sign you have PD and I say MIGHT because doctors are not gods and they make mistakes and get it wrong. With Parkinson’s disease, it is not uncommon to be misdiagnosed the first, second, even third go around. As said earlier, it mimics so many other diseases that it can be difficult for some neurologists to diagnose accurately, which is why a doctor’s opinion MIGHT be a sign that you have PD and, in the same respect, that you DON’T have PD.

If you are concerned you may have PD because you’re showing any of the signs above, the best point of action is to make an appointment with a good neurologist – one that has experience with Parkinson’s disease or, better yet, a Movement Disorder Specialist (a neurologist who specializes in movement disorders specifically). And if you don’t like the first diagnosis, get another one. If they differ, get another one. Don’t stop until you are satisfied that you have the correct diagnosis and peace of mind over what you are dealing with. It might not be the greatest news you’ve ever gotten, but at least you’ll know what you’re up against and what you’ll need for your new journey.

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