I wish someone would hack into my system and steal my PD.
Okay, before watching all the holiday TV shows and movies so you can hang Christmas lights, did you know that the best predictor of weight regain is frequent television viewing and that more than 500,000 Americans are injured and 300 die each year while using ladders? Keep in mind the 4-and-1 rule; for every 4 feet the ladder rises up the wall, the base of the ladder should extend 1 foot from the wall. Be careful.
PD patients: did you note the cognitive function and depression and muscle protein synthesis aspects of Vitamin E? Ask your doctor if supplements might be beneficial to your drug therapy.
For all those people who know there’s something wrong with their cars but have no clue what the problem is or how much it’ll cost to fix, here’s a chart from a mechanic’s garage, along with prices:
Ping, Click, Ping- $10
Click, Whir, Click – $30
Clunk, Whir, Lunk -$50
Thud, Clunk, Thud – $100
Clang, Thud, Clang – $200
I Can’t Describe It – $500
The following quotes were taken from Electronic Medical Records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting. Enjoy and, it’s okay to laugh outloud. It’s good for you!!! -sherri
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night
The patient has no past history of suicides
The patient refused an autopsy
The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious
The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency
A neighbour of a newly wed couple was worried when she didn’t hear her rather noisey neighbours for a while. A few days later, she peered through their letterbox and through the windows. But there was no sign of anyone. Concerned for the young couple, she called the police. The officers promptly broke down the door, then searched the house. Only to find the young women gagged and tied to the bed. Her husband was lying unconscious on the floor, wearing a Superman Outfit. They later explain that they had been engaged in a superhero role-playing fantasy, and the costumed husband had knocked himself out attempting to jump onto his wife from atop the dresser. Of course, the woman was unable to help him!
Even though Parkinson’s Disease Awareness Month will be coming to a close as of today’s end, we can still continue to spread the word. To celebrate the last 30 days of an attempt to educate, inspire, and bring awareness to this little monster and its ability to change the course of one’s life, here are my top 3 favorite awareness items from the month by three different sources: Sheryle Klingelhofer, Beth Bjerke, and PJ’s most popular “Top Ten”.
This one’s from Sheryl Klingelhofer, Facebook page “A Life with Parkinson’s”:
OK, MOST folks talk about the support they get from friends and family with their Parkinson’s and dystonia difficulties…however I hear of some who say that after their diagnosis, they are often rather abandoned or even get griped at over the disorder. And while we HOPE that insight and education through gentle sharing would work, well, it often doesn’t.
It may be from a movie, but if you get bugged by insecure or unfeeling individuals, try this little quote…it sums it up for them nicely!
Next, we have the popular
1. To feel good.
2. To smell (what’s baking in the oven).
3. To have people believe that the person with PD isn’t pretending to have a chronic disease. Really. We have better things to do.
4. For others to understand that although they can’t see all of the effects, the disease is real.
5. More dopamine. We gotta have more cow bell dopamine.
6. To not shake all the time. It would be so nice to stir our coffee because we want to.
7. For others to be aware of the struggles and invisible symptoms people with Parkinson’s face so that they are better able to understand the fervency and urgency of a cure.
8. To find a drug that doesn’t knock you out for half the day, but instead, knocks out PD.
9. A plastic bat to hit others over the head when they make thoughtless comments.
10. A cure
and then last, but not at all least, a plea from Beth Bjerke:
“Last week I changed my profile picture [on Facebook] from what was a symbol of Parkinson’s Awareness Month, to a picture of myself. As nice as the comments were, I was taken by surprise by how many took the time to say something nice. Yyet on the other hand, I’ve posted something about Parkinson’s [most everday this month] and it [seems] to go unnoticed. I, like so many others, am fighting a progressive disease that has no cure.
There are many three- or four-little-words sentences we all like hearing: “You look nice…” or “I love you…” or “Have a nice day…”
However, there is also another four-word sentence I so hope to hear, not only for myself but for those inflicted with the disease and those yet to come.
Four simple, yet complicated words…
“THERE IS A CURE.”
I do believe that one day Parkinson’s disease will only be a memory. That is called having hope. Without that hope, what do any of us really have?
April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month. We are at the end an I am reaching out to all – take a moment and help bring awareness to Parkinson’s disease. Please let me know you’re behind me, that you truly care, and that I’m not just another face.
How about you? Is there something YOU can do?