Just for A Laugh

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The following quotes were taken from Electronic Medical Records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting. Enjoy and, it’s okay to laugh outloud. It’s good for you!!! -sherri

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night

The patient has no past history of suicides

The patient refused an autopsy

The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December

Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious

The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints

Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency

A neighbour of a newly wed couple was worried when she didn’t hear her rather noisey neighbours for a while. A few days later, she peered through their letterbox and through the windows. But there was no sign of anyone. Concerned for the young couple, she called the police. The officers promptly broke down the door, then searched the house. Only to find the young women gagged and tied to the bed. Her husband was lying unconscious on the floor, wearing a Superman Outfit. They later explain that they had been engaged in a superhero role-playing fantasy, and the costumed husband had knocked himself out attempting to jump onto his wife from atop the dresser. Of course, the woman was unable to help him!
 

It’s A Wrap: Bringing Parkinson’s Awareness Month to A Close

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Even though Parkinson’s Disease Awareness Month will be coming to a close as of today’s end, we can still continue to spread the word. To celebrate the last 30 days of an attempt to educate, inspire, and bring awareness to this little monster and its ability to change the course of one’s life, here are my top 3 favorite awareness items from the month by three different sources: Sheryle Klingelhofer, Beth Bjerke, and PJ’s most popular “Top Ten”. 

 

 

PRICELESS! 

This one’s from Sheryl Klingelhofer, Facebook page “A Life with Parkinson’s”:

OK, MOST folks talk about the support they get from friends and family with their Parkinson’s and dystonia difficulties…however I hear of some who say that after their diagnosis, they are often rather abandoned or even get griped at over the disorder. And while we HOPE that insight and education through gentle sharing would work, well, it often doesn’t.

It may be from a movie, but if you get bugged by insecure or unfeeling individuals, try this little quote…it sums it up for them nicely!

 

 

Next, we have the popular

THE TEN THINGS PARKINSON’S PATIENTS WANT,

(sort of)


1.  To feel good.


2.  To smell (what’s baking in the oven).

 

3.  To have people believe that the person with PD isn’t pretending to have a chronic disease.                                Really. We have better things to do.


4.  For others to understand that although they can’t see all of the effects, the disease is real.

 

5.  More dopamine. We gotta have more cow bell dopamine.

 

6.  To not shake all the time. It would be so nice to stir our coffee because we want to.

 

7.  For others to be aware of the struggles and invisible symptoms people with Parkinson’s face so that they are better able to understand the fervency and urgency of a cure.

 

8.  To find a drug that doesn’t knock you out for half the day, but instead, knocks out PD.

 

9.  A plastic bat to hit others over the head when they make thoughtless comments.

 

10.  A cure



and then last, but not at all least, a plea from Beth Bjerke:

“Last week I changed my profile picture [on Facebook] from what was a symbol of Parkinson’s Awareness Month, to a picture of myself. As nice as the comments were, I was taken by surprise by how many took the time to say something nice. Yyet on the other hand, I’ve posted something about Parkinson’s [most everday this month] and it [seems] to go unnoticed. I, like so many others, am fighting a progressive disease that has no cure.

There are many three- or four-little-words sentences we all like hearing: “You look nice…” or “I love you…” or “Have a nice day…” 

However, there is also another four-word sentence I so hope to hear, not only for myself but for those inflicted with the disease and those yet to come.

Four simple, yet complicated words…

THERE IS A CURE.”

I do believe that one day Parkinson’s disease will only be a memory. That is called having hope. Without that hope, what do any of us really have?

April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month. We are at the end an I am reaching out to all – take a moment and help bring awareness to Parkinson’s disease. Please let me know you’re behind me, that you truly care, and that I’m not just another face.

Beth”


How about you? Is there something YOU can do?


If You’ve Got It, Why Not Flaunt It?

Day 28 of Parkinson’s Disease Awareness Month continues…

The question was posed on a Parkinson’s disease discussion board: “I was wondering if craving sweets is an unusual symptom of Parkinson’s Disease. I am still trying to get acquainted with the ever transforming symptoms of the problem.”

The following replies were posted:

  • “I just got back from the store with a gallon of ice cream, a package of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies, a chocolate pie and 3 bottles of Magic Shell… so I would have to say yes to your question.”
  • “Let’s see– 3 bags of chocolate covered raisins, a big dark chocolate bar, chocolate ice cream, and chocolate covered donuts…”

The honest to goodness truth of the matter is, Parkinson’s disease takes a lot from a person. It takes your independence, for one. It takes the spring in your step for another and leaves you with an awkward shuffle instead. It takes the swing in your arm and leaves it stiff and motionless. It takes your smile and replaces it with a ‘stone face’ instead. PD, while agreeably, takes away your ability to smell bad things, also takes away your ability to smell most everything else. Good-bye cow dung. Good-bye sweet, fragrant lilacs.

However, while it can and often does take away your sense of taste, it in turn can leave you with a greater sweet tooth.

Now, one could choose to crumble against such losses and complain to those who will stop to listen, but you’ve gotta admit,– this is a priceless gift, however expensive such a luxury may end up costing.

Who could ever imagine such an extraordinary blessing? We don’t need excuses or reasons stretched far and wide, stuffed with lies in order to engage in such a once formidable past time such as sitting by the pool side and eating decadent See’s Candies milk chocolate covered Bordeux’s, sprinkled with chocolate jimmies, washed down smoothly with an iced-cold glass of sweet tea. We need no excuse! We have Parkinson’s disease. And I say, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Take advantage of each and every blessing it affords you. You’ve gotta start somewhere. My suggestion?

Start with the chocolate. It is one of the four food groups, after all. Right?

Friday’s Funnies

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Day 28 of Parkinson’s Disease Awareness Month continues…

 

Having been serious for too many days now over PD, we are taking a much needed break. These Friday funnies are brought to you for the sole purpose of laughing.

Because sometimes in life, you just have to…


For more funnies, visit here.

 

 

Day 8: Craziest Comment Contest in Celebration of PD Awareness Month!!!

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Okay PJ’ers… to celebrate PD Awareness month, we are having two contests. Contest #1 starts today and ends April 15th (something fun has to happen on tax day).

Looking for…

Crazy Comments

Tell us the craziest (namely – the most ignorant) comment you have ever heard about having Parkinson’s disease (no profanity or inappropriate comments, please). It could have been said to you, about you, or something you overheard, etc. Something that made you wonder, “How in tarnation did they come up with that ?!?” or you may have shockinly responded to such said commnet, “Where in the world did you ever hear that hullabaloo?!?” 

You can be a PD patient, caregiver, or friend or family member of a loved one with PD.

The craziest comment will win a copy of Dr. Abe Lieberman’s book, “101 Questions and Answers About Parkinson’s Disease” so that the winner will be able to educate those who remain clueless and bring enlightening awareness to those who struggle with the facts.

For PJ Group Facebook users, just go to PJ’s website at parkinsonsjourney.com, leave a comment and tweet the post on which you left your comment. 

Winner will be notified at Parkinson’s Journey website after April 15th.

If you are reading this on the PJ website, just leave a comment here or at another post.

Good luck!

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