My New Smile

Many of you have read my account of the Deep Brain Stimulation surgical procedure I had done over the past month.  It is now February and I am starting a new month, a new ‘year’ actually, for me, as I was born the first week of the month.  And in many ways, I feel like I have a ‘new’ life.

I sort of have a new brain.  My ‘new’ brain helps me deal and live with Parkinson’s in a new way.

I wrote a post a year or so ago about ‘Little Monster Stole My Smile’.  Well, he didn’t actually steal it; rather, he pulled it off my face, leaving my mouth to turn down in a permanent frown and then ran off, laughing.

I showed him.  I had DBS and now I have – you’ve got it – a new smile.  My neighbor said I’m glowing.  (No, I’m not pregnant.)  However, I feel like I’m glowing. Yes, there are still some things that DBS didn’t do like cure this disease.  I still get tired.  I still have other things reminding me that it’s not gone, but…  I am able to ‘write’ again – my fingers actually work.  The pain in my feet is so much less.  The tremors are being controlled unless I forget to take my meds (which I did ONCE – yikes – that got me to doing everything I can so as not to forget again).   I just feel as if there is a smile plastered on my face and I have to admit – I like it.  A lot.

The one thing I’ve been thinking about is how peaceful I have felt through all of this.  I only had one attempt at a nervous breakdown over this but when I weighed the consequences of the different scenarios of outcomes of my surgery, I held it together.  Or, shall I say – God held me together.

I’ve been thinking about this past week.  I’ve thought about all the people that prayed for me.  People I’ve never met.  People I’ve never talked to face to face.  People I’ll never meet in this lifetime.  People I’ve only chatted with online. New friends and old friends.  Acquaintances.  Family.  The little elderly man I sit next to in church every Sunday.  A men’s prayer group.  An autistic boy. A crisis pregnancy center.

I am awed and overwhelmed by the goodness and faithfulness of God’s people.  But – more than that, I am struck by the goodness and faithfulness of God.  I have been – and am – so very blessed.  I prayed for Him to go in that room with me and hold me throughout the surgery.  I knew what the odds of success were and they were very good.  However, I didn’t go through those Operating Room doors blind.  I know that not everyone comes out of those doors better than when they go in, for whatever reason, but I did.  God answered my prayer and held me throughout and the peace I had going in remained with me afterward.

I feel like I came out smiling.  Maybe no one saw the smile there (because, looking at the pictures, one would hardly think so.  My face was swollen, my hair – well, we’ve already been down that road), but it was there.  As I laid in the post-op section, waiting for a room, I was quite content.  I had a great nurse, my family was in and out even though they were ridiculously exhausted.  (Not me – I had just had a great nap.)

I am still in awe when I think about it.  I am so thankful to have a God who keeps His promises and is our ultimate healer, family that is so supportive and encouraging, friends that care so much and a team of doctors who are so skilled in what they do.

I am blessed and I am smiling.

Journeying with you ~ Sherri

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