One of the most overlooked things about Parkinson’s is how important care partners are to those of us living with this illness. It’s a job that no one is going to volunteer for but someone is usually thrust into with as much uncertainty as to how PD will affect their lives as well as the life of someone they care deeply about.
I’ve been around enough people to hear stories of great care partners and partners who hardly care. I feel blessed that my husband is trying to understand PD and he has hung in here with me for almost six years after we sat in a neurologist’s office together and heard the words “Judy, you have Parkinson’s disease.” To this day we still wonder to what magnitude it will affect our lives.
I feel extremely blessed that my husband has not looked too far down the road and surmised that it is not worth putting up with the gal he dated for 5 years and then married and just because of PD, chose to go with to the doctor that day almost 19 years after we had wed.
He is trying to understand, but I know it must be difficult. Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if the roles were reversed and he was the one with PD. Would I be as patient? Would I be as caring in that unique way of still showing you care, while screaming your lungs out at the one with PD? Would I be mad at God for reminding me that I said “in sickness and health”? Would I promise to stick by my mate and would I still hold onto the hope that our life can be rich even with a chronic illness blanketing the future every day?
My dear husband,
I am sorry for the days that I have yelled at you saying, “You can’t understand how frustrating this is – to be able to move well for several hours and then feel like you are moving through molasses”.
I’m sorry for the times when I cried when you looked at me the wrong way (or so I think).
And I’m sorry that I don’t always take your advice. That I don’t thank you for the little things you do. For overlooking a lot a little things (and big ones too) that I don’t do anymore.
I’m sorry that I’m not the me you married 25 years ago, but I am so grateful you are still by my side, holding my shaky hand and asking me if I took my meds.
Sure it would make me happy if you completely understood all about PD, but I’m not sure it would make it easier on either of us.
My dear husband, thank you for taking up the slack and still loving me in spite of PD. You make my heart soar, my hope is buoyed with you along beside me, and I know that I am most truly blessed by your love and commitment.
No matter what the future holds for us with Parkinson’s along, you will always be the one I look to, to get a hug, to lend a hand, to help me up, and to make me smile.
Now, would you quit buggin’ me about being on the computer all the time? And I promise I’ll try to get some sleep tonight.
There he goes…rolling those eyes. He’s never asked what I write about on the computer to share with others. I think now might be a good time to show him. I hope he will understand that I want to write this day about him, because he is in my life and will always be the most important man to this girl.