Day by Day – September 2007

Sunday morning, Sunday, Sept 2…

The sky is blue and clear. A few wisps of white clouds scattered here and there but nothing, and I mean nothing like the other evening when the sky turned dark and clouds hovered low, the wind whipped through the neighborhood, blowing anything loose out of its way, the lightening was so bright it overpowered the street lights and it was as if the thunder were God proclaiming His existence. I know my faith was deepened in that storm. Just the way it is deepened in every storm in my life. The clouds threaten rain and hail, sleet and snow, the wind whips, blowing every loose string of faith I may have clear out of range, leaving me to cry out for mercy. Then the lightening strikes and though it threatens to hit me, it never does and though the clouds roar, they are music in my ears.

I love the thunder and the lightening. They remind me how small I am and how big my God is. I love the wind, the fury of its strength. None of those are pleasant, and yet, all are needful. The wind cleans and clears debris from trees, out of places where it doesn’t belong. The lightening can clear and clean underbrush in a forest, leaving a beautiful landscape when the spring brings new growth from the seeds that were left underneath the soil and the thunder – that is my favorite of all. The thunder is mighty and reminds me that God is alive and still in charge. I know that isn’t the scientific reason of what causes lightening, but I stand there and close my eyes and remind myself, the maker of the universe still cares for me. Even though I am so small.

In the storms of my life, in the hard rains and the fierce winds, the lightening strikes and the roar of thunder, I have been tested. But it is in the storms that my faith has grown. Sometimes I don’t notice until the season of spring has come, when the gentle rains and the warm sunshine bring reminders of life, of new growth, that I made it through the harsh season of winter. And I find that God was there all along, cleansing me, strengthening me, making me new.

Monday morning, Sept 4…

Am waiting for my daughter in-law to arrive so we can go bargain hunting at the local thrift store which is donning their once a year sale of everything being half off. The crowds, the lines – I am in no hurry! But it is an opportunity to spend time with my precious daughter in-law. Did I mention I’m going to be a grandma in five months? The month of my birthday, as well! God is good. The only complaint? They are looking to move, but thankfully for me, God has still kept them here… for now.

Am I willing to let them go? Yes. Do I want them to go? No. But that is my own selfish desire and I realized a while ago that the harder I hold on to something, the less I allow God to intervene and do His best for the situation.

So I have learned to let go.

To not hold on.

And I try.

But sometimes it’s hard.

Especially when you’re a fixer. And I am a big fixer. I want everyone to be happy. Smiling. Content. But that’s not reality. The reality is that it is not up to me to fix everything. And, it’s not up to me to make everyone happy.

I realized yesterday that I tend to coddle people. I realized yesterday that I don’t like that. I realized yesterday that I taught my son to do that. I realized yesterday that isn’t a good thing. And, in all of yesterday’s realizations, I realized I need to stop. The world’s happiness has not been made my burden. I am accountable for only myself in how I react to the circumstances that this world throws at me.

How I will deal with this disease.

The financial burden.

Choices others around me make.

On and on the list can and does go.

But how I choose to deal with it all is what matters. Will I choose to smile, knowing that my God is bigger than all of this? Or will I whimper and whine, demonstrating that life is a burden and I want everyone else to know exactly how much I suffer? It is one thing to suffer. It is another to suffer for sympathies sake and that is what I want to avoid. In myself and in others. But to do so, I have to be discerning enough to know the difference.

When I was a little girl, I used to lie in bed at night, pretending to be a patient in a hospital and people would come and visit. I did it out of a desire for attention. And in my illusions, I got attention.

I am not a little girl anymore and when I lay awake in bed at night I think about that and I don’t want to be that person. I want to be strong and a support for others. But I want to know the difference of when they need support and encouragement or a kick in the rear end that says, “Enough! Get up, live your life and be thankful that God has given you another day!”

Because whether it’s another day walking slowly and stiff, or another day with the ability to weed my flowers without pain, I will be accountable as to how I spent this day. And I want to spend it well. With my daughter in-law. In the crowds. Standing in line. I may be leaning on her, but I want to be smiling. At least on the inside.

Tuesday morning, Sept 2…

I can hear feet quietly shuffling upstairs. I should go up and fix breakfast but I just want to steal a few more minutes of the morning away and use them on myself. Here, in the quietness of this room.

I got up early so that I could pedal around the neighborhood in a short jaunt on my bike but alas, another morning has escaped as the footsteps upstairs are getting louder. Where does the time go? I could sit and write all day. Perhaps next week will afford that luxury and I may even get my book finished by the end of the year, in between household chores and yard maintenance and stiffness and pain. Activities don’t happen quite as quickly anymore. Everything takes longer.

But, today is a new day and where there was a cloud just a moment ago, the sun is now shining. If I wait just a moment, the clouds always disappear. Life is like that, I believe. The gloominess can creep in, taking over my mental and emotional state, threatening to reveal a dark day. But I have learned and firmly believe that if I wait, if I keep my chin up and not allow the dreariness of the moment to capture my joy, that the sun will eventually push the clouds away and shine brightly within my spirit. And once again I am reminded that … sorrow, sadness, despair, discouragement may last for a time, but God is faithful to bring back the joy that was hidden in the darkness.

And now, I can go and fix breakfast.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

Sunday morning, Sept 9…

Nana and Nano left this morning to continue their trek to Canada. I was not ready to see them leave and the parting was difficult. I suppose it is because in the back of your mind, there is always the thought that this could be the last time…

It is a beautiful day and the sun is shining. There is a definite hint of fall in the air. It is crisp and cool although the temperature gauge is increasing in its mercury level. That is a good sign. It will be good to get out and weed the flower bed although I am already tired. It has been a week filled with many projects, some completed and some still in need of completion and yet nearer to a finished project than a week ago, thanks to Nano’s help.

My son has been given the grand opportunity to go to Japan next summer. It is incredible and he has decided to accept the offer and take this once in a lifetime challenge of teaching students English. It will be a stretch for him in many ways, but a good one.

I miss my daughter, 2000 miles away. There are days that I want to pick up the phone and say, “Hey, wanna have lunch?” and then remember that is not possible. So I pull a few weeds instead and shed a few tears out in the garden. It is my therapy.

Off to the lake for a mid-morning fellowship with my husband. There are not too many more days to enjoy the sun before the snow will begin to fall and those opportunities will be past. So today, I will sit beside the lake, listen to the water lap against the shore and close my eyes and thank God that one more day, the sun is shining.

Monday morning, September 10…

I am watching the sun come up through my basement window. The sky is filled with pinks and oranges and yellows and back-dropped in a pale blue. It is beautiful and reminds me of the peace of God. The house is quiet. I am trying to get a few things done before going off to the hospital to volunteer at the center.

Life seems so busy and full lately. I was able to weed the flower bed yesterday – a little bit. In the midst of doing so, I spotted a spider. It was not your regular black spider.

I did a little research and this is what I found:

Species: Crab spider, or otherwise known as a ‘flower spider’…

Flower spiders depend on their camouflage and ability to keep still both for protection and to catch their prey. Prey animals, notably honey bees, butterflies, flies and beetles, are grabbed by the spiders’ spiny front legs and immediately bitten on the head area.

So far this is correct. This little critter was sitting atop the lavender, still as could be as a honey bee pranced unknowingly into its web. He then began the dance of survival.

Some flower spiders are the same color as the petals of the flowers they occupy. This camouflage not only protects them from birds but also gives them a hiding place from which to ambush incoming insects.

This was not the case of this particular spider. He was reddish-orange and sat on top of the flower petals. Not particularly a good idea if you want to blend in, which is probably why I spotted him

They are territorial with only one spider occupying a flower, unless they are male and female come together for mating. The occupant will often sit on a flower until the petals wilt before moving onto another flower. At night flower spiders hide under the petals or leaves.

One spider was correct. No others around. Didn’t witness any mating activity, but it’s interesting that they remain positioned on the same petal until it wilts.

After mating, a female flower crab/flower spider will provide her developing young with insects. Sometimes she may be eaten too, especially if food is scarce. The females migrate from their parental nests after mating. The young develop during winter and spring, and sometimes help the mother to build up the nest further. However, they will eventually eat their mother if food becomes scarce. During the summer months the males mature first, migrating to find other nests. The females mate within their parental nest before their own migration.

Wow. They eat their mother. What a sacrifice on her part. These guys sound despicable. Yet, I was so intrigued by what, may I dare say, the beauty of this creature. And I wonder…

How can one see something so delicate, really, so intricate in design and color, and believe that there is no God? Can man create such extravagance? Have we developed the means to create such amazing life forms? And what about the sunrise that has now disappeared through my basement window? Can such splendor really be the result of a messy explosion thousands of years ago? Has anything so magnificent ever come from what was believed to have been such an enormous mess?

I cannot imagine trying to come up with some sort of explanation for such beauty, for such creativity in nature.

So as I sit here, peering out through my window to see the clouds fill the sky above the tree line, I am confident that the God of creation has done this for our sheer pleasure. So that we might stop and take a breath, take a moment of our day and notice the beauty around us and move our attention from the daily disappointments of this life and remember that there’s more.

There are sunrises and sunsets. Skies filled with every color of the rainbow. Trees that are every shade of green in the spring, filled with berries and fruits in the summer, changing to oranges and golds, yellows and browns in the fall before they drop their leaves for winter and make way for the emergence of new life once again.

There are flowers of every shade of the color wheel and spiders in every shape and size.

And when I go outside today to see if that crab spider is still on top of the lavender, I will thank God for His creation. And the fact that my children don’t eat me when food is scarce.

Tuesday morning, September 12…

The sun is bright and the sky is clear but my window is filthy. Therefore, the sun’s beauty is distorted and the sky has a tinge of brown. From my window, it is dismal. Yet, if I change my position and choose to look out of another window, it could possibly be clear, bright and sunny.

Life is like that. It can be beautiful, free of dirty tinges of brown scattered on our lives and yet, doesn’t it really depend on which window we choose to look out of?

We can have aches and pains, financial burdens, relational distresses and more and yet, if we choose to see them as opportunities for growth – opportunities to make us wiser and stronger, full of compassion for others because of our experiences – the window is clear and the sky blue. If we choose, however, to see them as encumbrances, threats to our peace, obstacles we have no energy to climb, inconveniences that are more of an annoyance and hardship, then our window has a film of debris and the sky is tinted in brown.

In big cities they call this smog. Smog is a form of air pollution and pollution of the mind is contaminated thinking. A littered way of looking at things. Smog also is harmful to our health, just as looking at things through dirty windows distorts our view, just as seeing life through a polluted perspective.

Life is hard. That is an undisputable fact. It will have obstacles we don’t want to face, aches and pains we’d rather not feel, burdens we think we can’t bear and relational distresses that we’d prefer to avoid. That is life.

But God is good. He promises to give us the energy to climb the mountains we must face, strength to carry the burdens he has called us to bear, wisdom for relationships we have been given and the ability to endure the aches and pains. To believe otherwise can be harmful to our health, mentally, physically and spiritually.

So, I think I’ll get up now and change my position. I’m going upstairs to look through a clean window. Or, better yet, I’m going outside to get an even better view.

September 16…

The sunset last night was awesome and I must carry that throughout the day as when the sun went down and the hours ticked by and I sat watching ‘The Ultimate Gift’, which by the way was very thought provoking, and my stomached churned for some reason waiting for my son to come home, alas, he finally did.

It is hard, this child raising industry. Very hard. You carry them around and then chase them around for at least six or seven years and then you let them go a little bit. We send them off to school, grant permission to friend’ houses, and then they slowly become independent on their own. You try to teach them responsibility and selflessness. You try to teach them confidence and positive attitudes. Some of them get it, some of them get some of it, some of them don’t get it at all. And through it all, we relearn the gift of trust.

I lift my prayers to a God that cares and knows what is best, I must relearn the power and gift of trust. I must relearn that the power of trust is faith and the gift of trust is peace. And it is through faith that I believe He is working all things together for good and it is peace that keeps me resting in the truth that He began a good work years ago in my chlidren and He will be faithful to complete it.

It is in the peace I can once again praise You, oh Lord, here – in this place.

Friday, September 21…

Today I was reminded of a very difficult time in my life, thanks to a dear PD’er here at DS.

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times.

The worst of times… My life was literally falling apart. Physcially, the doctors were trying to decide if I had MS, RA, a brain tumor or Lupus. Something was causing the optic nerve in my eye to hemmorage and they were baffled. The choices were non-inviting. It became a waiting game.

My three children were all under the age of 8, I was working and for some reason that I could feel in my gut yet couldn’t identify, my marriage was falling apart. The agony lasted for 15 years.

I was weak and impressionable and I trusted everyone. I learned that the only one you can trust one hundred percent of the time is the Lord.

Enter, the best of times…

Due to my ongoing circumstances, I learned to lean on God as never before and it was during that time that He became more than the Creator of the heavens and earth – He became my constant companion, my dearest friend, my daddy. In the midst of the pain, the confusion, the heartache – He was enough. On days when the storms thundered and the clouds rained misery, He gave me grace to keep walking forward and strength to do it well. He gave me hope and a peace that truly lived up to His promise of going beyond understanding. It became the best of times in my walk with a mighty God.

I am in another season of trials and tribulations and due to the prompting of what has become a dear friend here, I am opening the private pages of my journal to give you a glimpse of what the last week has been like., a mere snippet of the past year. Because, I was reminded that I don’t walk this road alone as we have others in our lives who will walk with us, although sometimes they have to be made aware of our needs. But more importantly, we have a heavenly Father who promises to not leave us or forsake us. And that is who I will trust for this season of my life. That is who, when the pain pierces my heart and the tears fall without end, I will run to.

During the best of times, I remember often crying myself to sleep. Weary and broken, I would curl up in bed and peace would cover me. I know it was the arms of my Daddy wrapping around me as He whispered, “I will take care of you.”

It was there I learned He means what He says.

This week is not the worst of times but it’s been a test. And when I was in school, before a test I would pray that God would help me to remember the things I needed to know. Well, during this life test, I am praying that God will help me to remember what I need to know… that His arms are around me, holding me close. And He’s not going anywhere. In that, I can trust and in trusting, I am able to rest.

September 23…

I am exhausted. You’d think being exhausted two, make that three days in a row would cause me to take these Google ads seriously. I opened up to DS today to find the ads offering help in writing my will and a “DeathSwitch” program, which allows me to have emails sent out automatically after I die. What a concept – to think someone is actually making money off of stuff like that… Of course, if I scroll down just a tad further, I can take an offer on getting some natural colon cleansing and that will boost my energy. I knew eventually these Google ads would come in handy other than for planning for my death or what I want to say after I die and have it emailed.

However, until I die or have my colon naturally cleansed, I am exhausted and quite honestly, I am thankful. It’s a good exhaustion. One that says I had enough energy today to work in my hard long enough to get exhausted. And I thank God for that. To be able to feel the fall wind on my face and find the crab spider still literally hanging out on my lavender. To spend time with my oldest son and talk about my soon to be here granddaughter. To go to church and finally feel like I have found ‘home’ there. It’s only taken eight years here but it’s finally happened. And to look in the faces of people throughout my day and think, “God’s grace was meant for her – for him.”

What an awesome day. And it’s not even over!

I went to Liquidation World after church today as it’s closing up shop in two weeks. I found my granddaughter-to-be her first toy from me. It is a diaper bag set for a pretend baby. It is my goal, my project, to find the perfect baby and blanket to go with it, for what good is a diaper bag if there is no baby?

I picked it up and it reminded me of a doll my mother once got for my cousin. At least that’s who she told me it was for at the time when I saw it tucked on the top shelf of her closet one day when she opened the door. I was about nine years old and it was about a month from Christmas and I remember seeing that baby and thinking that it was the most beautiful baby doll I had ever seen.

And I didn’t have one.

Now, I don’t recall ever coming right out and asking my mother for it, but I do remember not being able to quit talking about it.

Mama, she’s so beautiful.

I wish I had a doll like that. It’s not fair that Pam gets that doll and I don’t even have one.

I remember driving my mom crazy over that doll. Crazy enough that she finally gave it to me. And I can still feel guilty over it.

Remembering all of that made me think that sometimes I can come to God with my selfish desires and sometimes I know that He is saying no or not now and yet I pester Him and ask again. Sometimes He finally gives in and gives me exactly what I’ve asked for so that hopefully I learn that He knew what was best, if only I had waited.

But fortunately, sometimes I ask and I ask and ask and ask, and because I have not given up hope, He does give to me my hearts desire, because I was faithful in prayer. And I stand before Him and He hands me my ’baby’.

And unlike that baby I was given when I was a little girl, there is no guilt. God doesn’t mind when His children drive Him crazy over desiring good gifts. He loves for us to come and want to be our daddy and give to us not only what we need, but also what we want. It’s just that sometimes, He wants us to wait for the best time to give us certain gifts. And only He knows when that is and so sometimes He says – wait.

The waiting can be hard, but if we will be patient and trust His timing, I think we appreciate the gift – whatever it is – so much more when we finally do receive it.

Well, that’s it for today. I think I’ll go check out the natural colon cleansing offer. Nah – I have better things to do like write emails to send to people after I die.

September 24…

Another day, another dollar. Only in my case it will be, another day, another weed. Hopefully. However, I’m pretty stiff and sore but am hoping that by the afternoon some of the kinks will have loosened up and I can get out and pull a few weeds. Fall is here and so I know full well that winter will be right around the corner with its frost, snow and cold days. I’m looking forward to getting things done inside; having let some things go so I could take advantage of every moment of summer sunshine this year. I decided I wasn’t going to waste a moment, if I could help it.

Sometimes I believe that is how we should approach life – as if it is made up of seasons. And truly, life it is made up of seasons – the seasons of life.

In nature, there is fall – when things begin to die, there is a chill in the air, the wind speaks mightily as it whips though the trees, and the days seem darker. Fall is the time of year that God gives to us to prepare for winter. We cut things back, cover things up and close things down. We know it’s going to get worse before it gets better. And then it comes. Winter. It’s harsh. It can be deadly. It rains and it snows. It hails and the ice is so slick that you slip and slide and often fall. You don’t want to go outside. You want to hide in the comfort of home where it’s warm and safe. And then, after what can seem like forever, you wake up one morning and new life is peeping through the ice that is sitting on the ground. You pull up the shades, open the windows and bask in the fresh air that still has a bite to it but oh – the hope and joy of a new season has come. You watch the flowers emerge from the soil where snow once lay and threatened to never melt, but hold captive that which lay underneath, crying out to be set free. And as they begin to grow, the days grow warmer; the air is still with gentle sprinklings of rain that you welcome with a smile. And then there’s summer. The sun beats down warm and you are even convinced that as it warms your body, healing is taking place within. Where spring brought new life, this is the season where you’re actually living it. Your energy has been renewed; you delight to let your toes touch the water of the vast ocean or lake that is spread before you. This is the season where you gladly raise your hands in praise to God.

But looking back, you can see that each season had its purpose. And each season gives us the opportunity to prepare for the next. We all know they are coming. That is the course of nature. The flowers of spring cannot grow unless they die first. Many plants cannot live unless they endure the harsh frosts of winter. It is before the season of winter that roses are cut back to allow new, healthy growth for spring – a fuller, more abundant plant. I’m sure if flowers could talk, roses would express their deep disapproval over being pruned.

Isn’t life just like the cycles of nature’s seasons? We endure the longer days of fall, move into winter with reluctance and yet, spring always comes with the welcome reprieve of summer. Each has their purpose.

God allows us to be pruned in our seasons of fall, where at times we feel we have been uprooted, only to be left to die back and lay dormant in our winters, where we can endure deep darkness and feel closed up to the rest of the world. But in the pruning of our falls and long days of winter, we are being prepared for new growth and deeper roots, stronger branches and beauty untold. Through the dark and cold of winter, He beckons us to come and find warmth within His arms. To come and sit awhile with Him until the season Has passed.

It is through these two seasons that, while it may not feel like it, we are being strengthened and refined. And then when it’s time, He gently dries the tears of winter, removes His arms from around us and with His hands resting gently on our shoulders (for He never lets go), He lifts our chin and gently says, “Look”. We turn around to see green emerging where the snow once laid when we found ourselves running into His arms. There is new life and the sun is shining. Our circumstances may not have changed much, but we are stronger and we have hope. We find ourselves no longer resisting that which comes to us, but we are down in the dirt, gardening alongside of the Lord. We’re pulling the weeds of sin, allowing Him to cultivate the soil so that the roots can grow even deeper and air can seep down and allow us to breathe deeply. And if we will allow God to perform the work and wonder of those three seasons to produce His will and not try to seek shelter by running to a more appealing climate, summer will come. It always does. And it is then that we will fully enjoy the benefits of the dark and the cold of the past, the pruning and the cultivating that took place in our hearts. We cannot get to spring and summer without passing through the falls and winters in our life.

But we know they’re coming – these seasons of fall and winter. So why not determine beforehand, that instead of looking for a better climate, we will run into the arms of God and let Him hold us, teach us, and warm us with His love. Before we know it, we will see the new growth that God had planned all along and we’ll be basking in the sunlight once again, our hands lifted high in praise to a Father who knows best.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil–this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:1-13

Thursday evening, September 27th…

What a beautiful day it was today. Absolutely gorgeous.

Yesterday I took a picture of the only sunflower that bloomed this year, due to the deer’s appetites. They’ve eaten everything. I went back outside this afternoon to assess my flower bed in terms of determining when to cut things back. I looked over to the side yard and there stood my sunflower stalk. Naked. The flower had been eaten. All that remained were three little stubby stems protruding from the sunflower’s stalk.

This has been the worst year for the deer eating my flowers and yet it hasn’t bother me too much. Someone once told me that if you have a deer problem, plant extra. Well, I don’t know that I planned for that, but I did throw a lot of random flower seeds I had collected last year out there in the dirt this past spring and was pleasantly surprised by the abundance of color that showed up because of it! Even though there was an abundance, it was regularly enjoyed by constant midnight indulgences by these critters.

That’s okay. I don’t mind. It could always be worse. I could have a herd of elephants run through my yard. I don’t think I’d have handled that quite so well.

September 28…

Cloudy with expected rain. A very stiff neck, otherwise known as dystonia.

My dog is distressed. She loves lying in the sun and there is none. She’s beside herself in knowing what to do about this dilemma and I am of no help. I cannot make it shine. I cannot part the clouds. Sorry JC. Winter is coming and we much endure this together.

Last night my husband took a peek at the weather forecast and upon seeing that the weather has officially changed from summer to fall, on his fingers he calculated how many months until the sun might shine again. Six months. He was about ready to go into long term depression at that realization.

I live in North Idaho. People swarm here to bask in the summer sunshine along Lake Coeur d’Alene, fish the rivers, hunt the wildlife, raft the rapids, pick the Huckleberries, gold the floating green, boat the abundance of lakes, shop the tourist traps. It affords a plethora of activities for those visiting. And then comes winter. The sun is always hidden by clouds of gray and if you’re prone to depression, as is my husband, this is not the place for you. Summer deceives us into thinking we can stay here. That is, until fall turns the corner and summons winter to come. And come it does. The one digit temperatures, the rain followed by snow that turns to ice and never melts for what can seem like forever.

And while winter offers skiing and snowboarding, ice fishing and sleigh rides downtown during the holidays, it is cold and wet, gray and foreboding. And the activities can be costly. For those on a fixed income or less, as is in our case, activities such as I mentioned, are always all out of the question. They’re pricey and we’ve decided that breakfast is more important than a sleigh ride in the snow.

So, why stay?

Because we’ve not gotten the green light to go. My husband works for a ministry called GoodSeed, which offers tools for the believer, assisting them in discipleship and sharing their faith. We are considered stateside missionaries. And we raise our own support, hence the up and down fluctuation of our income. Hence, the faith factor. It really causes you to rely on the grace of God and His faithfulness and not our own abilities to provide.

And my son and daughter in-law are due in February with my first grandchild and how is a grandmother supposed to move away then? And my youngest son is committed to the county until January of next year, at least.

So, we stay. And we endure the gray days. But there is one thing about winter I do like. Actually, I love it. The snowfalls.

When the snow falls, the world grows more peaceful as each snowflake piles upon the last to create a pure white blanket upon the ground. The cement, the grass, the dirt – it all disappears underneath a blanket of snow.

And it never ceases to remind me of the grace of God. We can be hard like cement, as dirty as the soil and cutting like blades of grace, but when His grace and His forgiveness fall on us like fresh snow and covers us, we are made pure and find peace, even on the gray days.

So, let the winter come. Let the sun hide behind the clouds and let the snow fall. For there is nothing depressing, nothing gray about God’s grace and forgiveness. It’s what brings the sunshine to our souls and new life to our spirit. Even on the gray days.

Thank you Lord, for your grace and forgiveness. Help me to focus on Your goodness, even when the clouds threaten foul weather and stormy days. Help me to remember that even in the harshest seasons of my life that Your grace and forgiveness co