Day by Day – July 2007

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 Still hot! Still achy. A normal day for this week. What can I say? (smile)

Tuesday, July 17th

Muggy. Volunteered at the hospital today and felt like a patient more than a help. Came home and slept a good part of the afternoon. But, the people in the Adult Day program are a hoot. They are a joy to be around. I missed my regulars though, as I traded with someone else my day for theirs. Tried to rain today but I think the raindrops dried before they reached earth! The pool next door is getting more tempting with each hot day!!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Today wasn’t as warm – only 89! Whew! A nice relief. Today I had lunch with a friend, and worked out in the flowers – the best place on earth. The time spent isn’t as long as I used to be able to afford physically, but am adjusting and thankful that I can still get up! Was reminded that all the bad things I allow in my life are much like the weeds interspersed in with my flowers. Negative thoughts are much like those pesky plants that subtlety gain control and choke out the good flowers, robbing them of even their blooms. I don’t want to let the negative thoughts, discouragement or a down day ruin the blooms God is creating on my stems and branches. I want to be a fragrance, a thing of joy and beauty in the midst of the pain and frustration. In the midst of the reminders – the shuffle, the tremors, the slurred speech, the tripping, the whatever that captures my attention to remind me yet again of my PD – I want to remember that only one thing matters to me most: that I glorify God in this earthly shell and to hold onto the promise that someday, when I am given a brand new body, He will take my hand and we will dance forever. That will be worth it all.

July 15, 2007

Today is a beautiful day in North Idaho – much cooler than the last few of over 100! It’s the mid 80’s and much like gas prices, the high 80’s don’t seem so high once it’s been over 100!!! We took a drive through the ‘country’. It was clear and a few clouds, but only wispy white, coloring the sky slightly, but giving no hint of moisture. The wind is blowing and feels good against your face in the heat. On days like today, you hurt physically, but you don’t focus on it because it’s too beautiful outside and in North Idaho, you must seize the moment for in two minutes you never know – it might snow!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Last night the weather changed. I know I’ve talked about weather a lot the last few days, but when it’s in the 90’s consistently, it’s all you can think about – that and sweating!!! Anyhow, last night….

It was awesome!!! About 11 o’clock the thunder and lightening began. Thunder as I cannot remember hearing EVER. It was GLORIOUS!!! Loud and long. The wind blew and the pine trees’ shadows danced on the side of my house in the storm. And bursts of light. The lightening lit up the entire sky, as if it were right at my front door – quite what one might picture if God were standing right before you. It was absolutely incredible. I sat on the step of my front porch and watched the raindrops fall onto the warm earth and the soft sounds of it falling, intermixed with the loud sounds of the thunder gave an interesting mixture of noise. During the storm, there is a calm. The earth was watered and cooled, giving a much needed reprieve from the summer heat.

I am reminded once again of the power of God. As I sat there listening and watching, I wondered how anyone can experience something similar and not believe that God exists.

July 21, 2007…

Sometimes it’s easy to wonder why we go through what we do. After all, what is the purpose in pain? I had a neighbor come over one day while I was outside working in my flower bed. He asked me why God would allow people to go through stuff like this – PD, cancer (he had leukemia, age 55). Before I could say anything, he sat down and said, “Why not me?” And then he proceeded to tell me that he had had a chemo treatment that morning and sat next to a woman who was having her very first treatment – alone. At that moment he said he felt like that’s why he was there – for her. Her family couldn’t cope with it to be there with her through it, so she sat there, alone. But not any more. He was there. And what’s more, he understood very well what she was going through, how she felt.

So, here I am. I can’t say I’ve never questioned why, but I have gotten angry. I’ve been discouraged, down, depressed and just plain yucky. But, I know there’s a purpose. Like when someone asks, ‘What’s it like? ‘, because they just found out they have PD. Or they ask how I’ve coped with it and I can be honest and say that some days not very well, and offer support on the days that are not very well for them. I truly believe that no experience, good or bad, painful or pleasant, is ever wasted.

So, why do we go through the things that we go through? I truly believe it is so that we are able to come alongside others who are struggling and we’ll be able to understand because we’re a little further down the road.

We live in an imperfect world, with imperfect bodies. We may as well stand together. For we’re not only stronger that way, but plainly it’s just better than standing alone through the pain.

Sherri