Another Day on the Journey with Parkinson’s

another day
another handful of pills
another day masked with pain

tripping over my own two feet
choking on nothing
being told to speak up
being told to ‘Smile!’
wanting to scream,
“I am yelling! I am smiling!”
but they think I can do better
they think I am not trying hard enough
they’re wrong

I am
doing my best

trying so hard to maintain
to hang in there
but some days
are so

the shadows of despair
cling to my heels
darkness clamors for my joy
and seeks to destroy
my happiness
it beckons me to come
to give up
to give in
to the pain
that wreaks havoc within soul

oh soul,
disheartened heart,
despairing spirit

I will
rest in His arms
and wait patiently for Him
that I might
boast in Him
boast of His goodness
His faithfulness

the afflicted will hear
the afflicted will be delivered from
their fears

happy is the one
who makes You
their refuge

Some Days

Some days are okay
some days are not

Some days

I just get so tired
of this little monster
following me around
telling me I’m a burden
telling me I’m losing it
telling me I’m not going to get any better

Telling me
shouting to me
that some days
are not okay
that those some days
will someday
come to an end

And I know that
and tears
begin to fall

But some days
are okay

I tell myself
I’m not a burden
that some day
it will end
but not today

Today I will live
to the fullest I can
today I will listen
to the Voice
that beckons me
to not be afraid of this valley
and it’s casting shadows
and to trust
in the One who holds me –
the One who silences
this little monster
and tells me
that some day
it will be over
and that is the day
I will be home

Changing My Mind

Dear Doctor, I’ve come here today

To get a new body, give my old one away
My feet – they stumble
They trip and I fall
And my brain’s becoming sluggish – but wait! that’s not all.

My fingers won’t move the way I move them
My arms and legs they shake
You’d think I’d learn
There are no returns
On the parts of our bodies that quit or that break.

It’s not getting any easier
Other things are going wrong as I speak
Do you think you could do something,
Somehow, anything
Your expertise is what I now seek.

I’ve put in for a new toe, maybe two
The ones I have are not working so well
They hurt and they bend
It’s becoming quite a trend
And hasn’t been too terribly swell.

Yet, doctor, you know – I’ve been thinking
About keeping at least my two eyes
They’ve helped me to see
Such Incredible things
Like rainbows, the sunset  and  sunrise.

And you know – about my two hands,
They’ve crafted so many artsy things
And, oh yes, I’ll keep my voice
(For I don’t have a choice),
‘Cuz the grandkids like it when their Grammy sings.

And then, there are my two legs,
They really have been good to me
They’ve carried me here,
They’ve walked me to there
They’ve supported me constantly.

And let me not forget my heart
That has beat within on every new day
I’ll keep that too
(it’s the least I can do),
For it’s guided me when along life’s way.

So Doc, about that new, super cool body –
I guess I’ll keep all that God’s given to me
I’ll enjoy what I’ve got (‘cuz I’ve got quite a lot),
After all, I’ll soon be getting one
that will last for eternity.

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